As a parent, you have envisioned their adulthood to be smooth sailing. You did your job and the pathway to their independence and yours has been well hewn. You have raised upstanding, independent, productive citizens. Congratulations, you’ve done a great job! You take a deep breath, exhale, and the words “life is great” gently glide from your lips, then the phone rings. It’s your beloved progeny, calling to see if you need anything.
Bang! That’s the sound of your fantasy popping, because that scenario is bogus! If you have raised industrious kids, they will be success orientated. You will be proud of their accomplishments, but remember, life happens. They will strive for independence, but sometimes they need support. Be prepared, that call might go something like this. “Hi, Mom/Dad, how are you?” Although they truly love you, do not be lulled into a false sense of security your wellbeing is partially why they’re calling. In a light uplifting tone they inquire, “Are you busy?” If you answer no, be ready for the real reason they called. “Well,” they’ll drag this word out. “I need some help.” With that you might as well get the checkbook and start writing. Remember, it really is hard for them to ask.
When your financially responsible offspring needs assistance and YOU ARE ABLE, there are times that helping is okay. If he/she cannot support themselves, then they need another plan, not you.
What is deemed worthy of assistance? • Education If he/she attends school, certainly support their efforts, but do not co-sign foolishness.
• Vehicle Down Payment Only if he/she can pay the note (partial amounts are fine).
• Vehicle Repair Breakdowns happen! See emergencies below.
• Home Purchase If he/she is prudently contemplating homeownership, hooray YOU’VE done a great job. If feasible, invest in their future.
• Grandkids Per your experience, after the necessities you can’t do it all. Sometimes grandma and grandpa can help.
• Emergencies Be careful! Get facts and do not bail them out incessantly. Their lack of proper planning shouldn’t be your responsibility.
A parent takes their child from birth to adulthood utilizing the time between to fashion productive individuals that will be an asset to themselves, the community, and yes, to the parent. As I tell my kids, make sure to excel in school and engage a lucrative career, because you are my retirement plan. And I don’t plan to live cheap!
Rachel is a blogger who writes about a variety of topics including family issues and financial topics. She also is a frequent contributing writer for Payday Loans, a company that helps people close the gap when money gets tough.
