Pamela Anderson: Pamming It Up

Actress/Authoress/one-woman empire Pamela Anderson on her new series, her new book, and giant units.

"I’VE GOT TO GET OUT OF THE BATHTUB; I’M A PRUNE.”

That’s the last thing that Pamela Anderson said to me.

And though I could have lived without the prune part, the thought of one of the most famously curvaceous women – implanted or not – pulling herself ever-soslowly from her bath after our chat is enough to stiffen the resolve of any bookworm.

But affecting men is what Pamela Anderson has always done best.

Not just the famous ones – e.g., Hugh Hefner, who put her on the cover of Playboy a record 11 times; Tim Allen, who put her on TV’s Home Improvement before David Hasselhoff made her a household word with Baywatch; famed rocker paramours Tommy Lee and Kid Rock – but pretty much every man. While the Average Joe has found Anderson’s rise boob-a-liciously enchanting, more contemplative admirers have found her brightly intelligent, even empowered charms (in super-babe shows like her self-produced VIP and her Spike TV cartoon, Stripperella) irresistible for a variety of reasons.

All this came between bouts of Hepatitis C, divorce, reuniting and fighting with ex-husband Lee over custody of her cherished sons, Brandon and Dylan, getting and removing her breast implants and, of course, her role as one of PETA’s most vocal animalrights advocates.

Her trademark whip-smart snarkiness can be found, in part, within her role as buxom rocker-chick-turned-bibliophile Skyler Dayton in the Fox TV sitcom Stacked. Meanwhile, Anderson the author (that’s right, English lit grads; Pam Anderson writes books!) has successfully parodied her very own being by barely fictionalizing her life in the gossipy, bitchy and genuinely funny tell-all Star, and, coming this month, its follow up, Star Struck, a “novel” that promises even more adventures from the lips and hips of its protagonist, “Star Wood Leigh.” If she uses lines like Star’s “Like a favorite dildo, he was always ready to go” in her new tome, we’ll be reading it fast and furiously.

Finish this sentence: “Next time someone asks me to parody myself, as I did in Scream 3, I’ll …”
PAMELA ANDERSON: “Do it again.” I’ve actually been asked to do a few cameos here and there. It’s a great compliment.

You seem to take a pretty handson approach to your myriad projects. Are you a control freak?
PA: I’m used to being in control in all aspects of my life, which is probably where I’ve learned the most about myself. I think it’s been a survival skill that’s made me less vulnerable, and has probably cost me in work and in relationships.

What was the first thing you thought when they brought the idea
for your new series, Stacked, to you?
PA: I felt I had a great opportunity here. Over the last few years, my schedule could not permit working – my children are my priority and my agent wouldn’t even call me. He knew that when the time was right, I’d call him. I did. And he sent me the best writer in television – Steve Levitan. We started a bidding war between networks and we made the best deal with Fox. They were so very enthusiastic, we had to do it. The cast really is the icing on the cake. I never would have thought I’d be working with Christopher Lloyd. I grew up watching Taxi – he’s a genius.

How much input do you have script-wise, particularly with regard to your character, Skyler?
PA: I think the character is loosely based on me, so I come up with a lot on the set – ad-lib type stuff. I just ask for nice lighting and no animals.

With Stacked, you entered the comedy fray, different from Baywatch and VIP. Were you intimidated at all by trying out-and-out situation comedy?
PA: It was thrilling and scary at the same time. I really didn’t like the pilot; so much pressure, a live audience. We recast one role, re-shot the pilot. So you kind of lose the freshness of an episode if you do it for two weeks. It was hard to breathe. I didn’t want to let anyone down, but it was a bit much. Plus, I cut my hair between shows before I knew we had to re-shoot, and adding all these crazy extensions in my hair made me self-conscious. My hair should have had its own credit! After the pilot, the next episodes really came alive for me. I don’t even mind watching them myself.

VIP had – despite its international profile – a woefully short run in America. Was that disappointing to you, especially given that you were also the producer?
PA: I did VIP purely for fun. But it got to be work; too many hours when you have small children. I just couldn’t wait to go home every day. With Stacked, I wake up, make breakfast, bring my kids to school and sing Dreamgirls at the top of my lungs on the way to work ... that’s a happy girl! Besides, we did four seasons of VIP in three years in over 100 countries. It was actually a huge international success and is still on everywhere but America. It’ll soon go to DVD, I’m guessing.

What’s the most original compliment someone has ever given you?
PAMELA ANDERSON: Somebody said I was like walking pop art. I’ve always felt that. I took that as a great compliment. I really responded to that; I’m not so sure why. That, and being a great mom, living a meaningful life – that, to me, is success.

What wins your heart at this point in your romantic life?
PA: Time, mistakes, friendship and forgiveness...acceptance.

As you get older, are there different parts of your body you like more or less? Which ones?
PA: Oh, I’ve never been 100 percent happy with anything about myself. Acceptance is something I need to work on. I’m a girl; it’s just in our nature to not be satisfied. I’ve never felt gorgeous or looked at my body and said “Wow” – it’s all funny to me when people have said things to me like that.

What led you to get smaller implants, and what did you do with the old ones?
PA: I have to laugh at these comments. I’m the same size I’ve been for years. I had an emotional moment going through a divorce. I cut my hair too – but no more than that.

Where does your new novel, Star Struck, pick up from its predecessor, Star – with the romantic cliffhanger that we left Star with?
PA: I love where the next book goes. I’ve had a lot of fun with it. It’s so hard not to keep changing or adding things. The editor literally had to rip it out of my hands and say, “That’s enough. It goes to print tomorrow.” I feel bad because I’ll be back at work when it comes out and won’t be able to do signings as much as I did last time. So I’m just hoping people buy it ... and love it and laugh anyway.

What inspired you to become an authoress in the first place? You had to know there’d be skepticism to greet your decision.
PA: I wanted to be home with the boys. Everyone has asked me to do boring autobiographies. But I said I’d do a series of novels loosely based on my experiences. Simon and Schuster loved it. And my co-writer, Eric Shaw Quinn, and I have created such a twisted friendship. Besides, usually anyone writing an autobiography is lying. I was just smart enough to call my books fiction.

ME: Do kiss and tell – the screwing-at-the-Hollywood-sign story in Star: true or not? You can tell me.
PAMELA ANDERSON: It’s not just the Hollywood sign. Besides, hasn’t everyone done it there?

Your Web site reports that you recently signed your own underwear for your brother to sell on eBay. How exactly did that conversation go?
PA: I’ve signed a lot more than that. It’s funny; people sell so much stuff on eBay that isn’t authentic. My brother and his friend John created a store where I actually sign photos, mags, clothing. Really, that is the only place I can guarantee that I’ve signed things for.

You have two boys. Certainly, you know what men can be like, especially in Hollywood. Do you stress to them, despite your being often objectified, that they should not objectify women?
PA: I’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, I guess. They are very respectful little boys. They are very protective of me and their little cousin ... it’s a very good sign.

You’re well known for your work with PETA. Would you ever toss blood or red paint onto anyone?
PA: No, I wouldn’t go that far. But I love it when they do. I support all PETA antics. They are brilliant at drawing attention to important issues through humor or drama. They are genius. They’ve made a huge difference in the world.

Is there any creature that you look at and think, “Man, that one is scary and dangerous; you know, we really don’t need to save this one”?
PA: Never ... but I know exotic animals do not belong here, and they are in fear and it’s only a matter of time before people get hurt. People are stupid.

What do you want your legacy to be?
PA: That I was a generous person, in all ways.

You came up through beer ads and bikini things to amass great success. Do you recommend the same route to girls coming up now?
PA: I wouldn’t want to do it again. But it worked for me!

What’s the silliest thing a director ever asked you to do?
PA: Pretend that it’s real.

And the moral of our story is?
PAMELA ANDERSON: Who cares? No one’s reading this for the articles.