Stunted Growth: Nina Kaczorowski

Stunt goddess-turned-leading lady Nina Kaczorowski kicks ass and makes a name for herself.

YOU MAY NOT THINK YOU KNOW NINA KACZOROWSKI (PRONOUNCED CATCH-A-ROW-SKI), BUT YOU’VE SEEN HER. A LOT.

You’ve spied her luring a lecherous Michael Caine to a most fortunate fate in Austin Powers 3: Goldmember; hanging around a gnarly Billy Bob Thornton in A Simple Plan; caught her kicking up a storm in Coyote Ugly; and you’ve even found her in the backgrounds of Steven Spielberg’s recent trips into sci-fi land, A.I. Artificial Intelligence and Minority Report.

But the Polish transplant (she has dual citizenship), model and dancer has landed most of her screen time due to her dashing, daring stunts – a hard, and seemingly improbable, line of work for such a gorgeous vixen. I don’t know whose ass she kicked in Pearl Harbor, but one of Hollywood’s most-called-on stunt women can be found, most prominently, throughout another of action director Michael Bay’s films, The Island. Here, Nina K. (as she’s known to the pronunciation-challenged) takes on not only her share of clone fists and virtual beatings, but darts and dashes her way through futuristic traffic jams with the ease of an Andretti.

Still, this elegant lass and delicate – kinda – beauty longs for more than butt-kickings and flying stunts. And she gets it this summer; playing up to bigboy co-stars like Fred Williamson (in modern-day blaxploitation flick Black Kissinger) and Michael Madsen (in horror flick Hoboken Hollow), and starring in the matronly tearjerker Instant Dads. I found her in Los Angeles, getting ready for a voice-over, ready to kick my ass if I didn’t answer my phone.

Somewhere, the theme to The Fall Guy is playing.

Seriously – how does a nice girl like you get into an ugly, painful racket like stunting? Death wish? Low self-esteem?

NINA KACZOROWSKI: When I was living in Texas I met a stunt coordinator out there. I was, like, 19...

If I were to piss you off, what’s the first Brit-ism that’d come out?

NK: “Cheeky” comes to mind. I don’t actually run up the apples and pears. It’s never that bad. I got out of London because my stepfather (Note: That’d be Telly Savalas, baby) was starting a little television series called Kojak. So we had to move to Los Angele

Ain’t that always the way – “Mom, I met a man.”

NK: (Laughs.) ... and on the weekends, he’d get together with other people in the stunt biz and just practice; keep fresh in their stunts. Try new things. Do twists on old stunts. Me, being a tomboy and crazy to do anything the guys did – I rode motorbikes when I was 8 – I came out one weekend. We did jumps off onestory buildings, wire stunts – all sorts of fun stuff. It became a great craft for me to have. Especially when you’re doing independent movies, being able to do your own stunts makes you a plus to producers. Even just knowing how to get chased by a car or fall down correctly – the little things – are good to know.

Has anyone ever asked you, “Are you fucking nuts?”

NK: Well, yeah. I came out to L.A. to further my acting career, and lots of friends and actors thought that being a stunt person would typecast me. That people would only look at me for stunts rather than acting. But knowing how to stunt is what so often got me in bigger movies. Like the stunt coordinator for The Island knew that I could do what was required. Next thing you know, I’m in fight scenes, getting chased by cars.

You mentioned you were a tomboy – hard to believe, looking at you now. How “tom” were you?

Nina Kaczorowski: I was always in the mud, playing soccer after a long Texan rain. My neighbor’s dad had a tractor and carved out this really cool trail for us behind these woods for us to have jumps on our motorbikes. Couple of crashes, couples of burns, stuff like that. (Laughs.) Really – whatever the guys were doing, I was doing. I always got along better with them than the girls. I didn’t like going off playing with Barbies. I’d rather go off and get dirty; get crazy.

So what, if anything, was girlie about you?

NK: Wow. Um ... I don’t know. Not until I got into modeling – which was like age 14 – did I look girlie. And only when I was on jobs. At home, I always wore clothes five times my size. You know how wearing jeans way low, hanging halfway down your butt and hips is the style? I was wearing that 10 years ago.

And not as a fashion statement.

NK: No. And my agents would get so mad at me. I’d go to these model parties in Manhattan with designers and other VIPs, and the agency always wanted you to look hot. All the other girls were in short skirts and heels. Here I come, rolling in with a T-shirt three sizes too big and jeans even bigger, and wearing flip-flops.

Forget about the rigors of stunt work – the catwalk is a bitch. Tell me about modeling for Wilhelmina.

NK: Coming from another country, my folks didn’t know what to do. But I just sent a letter and some pictures of myself to an agency in Texas and the next thing you know, I was getting called. My folks were suspicious. But it all worked out. Sure enough, I wound up at some junior modeling convention in New York City, with more than a few agencies coming after me. Wilhelmina got me and the next thing you know, I’m living in a model apartment in Manhattan. I loved it. Like acting, it allowed me to be anything I wanted – a princess one minute, a Goth girl the next.

Did you earn your diva card?

NK: No. I think I’m casual. Totally lowkey. After a few minutes of talking to me, I think you find I’m not a highmaintenance model. I’m probably almost too low-key.

You’ve worked with Michael Bay on both Pearl Harbor and The Island. I’m assuming his sets are full-body workouts.

NK: Definitely. Both films were nonstop. In The Island, my blood was constantly pumping because I was dodging vehicles coming straight at you – seconds late, and you’re done. In Pearl Harbor … that was a strange, different experience. World War II. History. I played one of the nurses during the bombing. It was intense. The bombing. The shocks. Though the sensation we felt was but a fraction of what the reallife solders endured; I can’t even imagine what the actual battle was like.

Have you broken anything yet? Or busted up anyone else during any fight scenes?

NK: No, thank God. Knock on wood. And I haven’t hurt anyone else yet. At least not on a film set.

What are you doing, running around kicking ass on the Sunset Strip? In a Texas bar? Discuss.

Nina Kaczorowski: No. No. I mean, back in Texas, I can remember a few times .. well, there’s one night a group of us went to Mexico. One of my buddies was really drunk, coming back over the border, and we’re holding him up. All of a sudden some guy – out of nowhere, with brass knuckles – comes up and cold-cocks my friend. Busts his lip open; it’s nearly hanging off. My adrenaline went off the chart. I don’t know what the fuck possessed me, but I hauled off and ran after the guy. I caught up to him and wailed on him, beating the shit out of him. And he didn’t know what to do – because I’m this girl, and …

...you’re kicking his ass! Sweet!

NK: Same thing happened in L.A., only it was some guy grabbing one of my girlfriends; a guy she didn’t know. I told him to get off. He does – and grabs me instead. “You don’t do that,” I said. And he said, “What are you going to do, kick my ass?”

And the answer, logically, was “yes.”

NK: Damn right. Then he threatened to get his girlfriend to do it. Bring her on then.

You lied – you’re so not laid-back.

NK: No, I am. But you just can’t get grabby and squeeze my arm.

Do you think the men in your life find your line of work – the physicality of the stunt – erotically charged and enthralling? Do they find it erotic that you have the cojones to do it? Do you find it erotic?

NK: I think … I don’t know. (Laughs.)

Is there any part of your daredevil athleticism that translates to the bedroom? Besides the car crashes and pyrotechnics, of course.

NK: (Laughs.) I think it could. I’m not into beating anyone up in the bedroom, but something fun? Definitely, if someone brings it up or suggests something interesting, I’m up for anything.

It looks as if, this summer, you’re moving away from simply kicking ass and looking great. I know you’re starring with Dennis Hopper and Michael Madsen in Hoboken Hollow. And in Instant Dads you’re, uh, dying, right?

NK: I am. I play a mom who’s dying of cancer. And I’m not the pretty girl or the hot girl. I had to wear a bald cap. I play a woman who gets pregnant out of high school with her best friend. No sooner than she’s about to admit she’s pregnant, this guy comes out of the closet. So he’s gay and has to go off to lead his life, be who he is. And I don’t tell him about the son, until I’m on my last legs and the doctors can do nothing else with a withering body. She … me … we want to make things right. So dad and son get together, they get to know each other, and the mom can go in peace. It was touching.

A real break from busting ass.

NK: A real break from being beautiful. I loved the sunken eyes and hollowed cheeks and no hair and white skin. I loved deteriorating.

You really seem at odds with your own beauty. Are you uncomfortable being the pretty girl?

Nina Kaczorowski: I am. (Laughs.) Look, there’s so many really pretty girls out there, that for me – it’s like they told me in the modeling biz: “Pretty girls are a dime a dozen.” You have to have to make your mark elsewhere: have the chops and make it happen. Give me the shot. I can do it.