Several decades ago, women were more impacted by the effects of divorce than their ex-spouses were, both emotionally and financially. Since the 1970's, however, women began attaining careers in the workforce, embraced new freedoms and independence and are now in a better position to take care of themselves and their children after a divorce. Because of this, research has recently started to focus on the effects of divorce on men's health and the results are indicating that it is no longer women who are more detrimentally affected by divorce but rather it is men who experience intense feelings of abandonment, anxiety and loneliness and for longer periods of time.
Health Problems
Because men are socialized not to verbally express their feelings of sadness, guilt or depression from an early age, they experience a larger variety of physical symptoms associated from intense feelings being "bottled" up inside of them. This causes an unhealthy amount of cortisol, the stress hormone, to remain in their system and initiate illnesses correlated with prolonged stress such as:
Extensive research indicates that life expectancies for men who have divorced are anywhere from five to ten years lower than the national average. One researcher from Yale stated that "being divorced and a nonsmoker is only slightly less dangerous than smoking a pack a day and remaining married". In addition, the mental health of divorced men declined dramatically in some instances, with men tending to exhibit, hostility, depression, aggressiveness and addiction even years after a divorce and remarriage.
Getting Help
It has been suggested that the reason why women cope better after a divorce is because they will more readily seek out companionship and people with whom they can talk about their problems and feelings. To prevent emasculation, however, men will keep silent about their fears, feelings and anger until these strong feelings manifest in other ways that are damaging to their health. Simply talking about their feelings with a professional therapist can greatly help a man going through a troubling divorce. Others may need a little extra help, such as what an antidepressant can give, until they have reconciled with the upsetting aftermath of a divorce.
Men who have previously been physically healthy but who begin experiencing physical problems after a divorce are probably suffering from stress and should seek help immediately in order to avoid long-term, potentially fatal effects of depression and stress. However, getting an experienced divorce attorney (such as my attorney, Jim Ross) can help reduce these symptoms by providing an easier more hassle free divorce.
